Beginning Anew

Day 66,

I'm so glad this week is over. For the past several days I've been plagued with a variety of discomforts that, with any luck, will all be part of my past starting tomorrow... Freakin hormones. I hate them.

I've been lethargic and moody and plagued with a headache, body aches and insane cravings. For example: All I've been able to think about this weekend is cake icing. Not frosting from a can... but the icing that comes on top of a birthday cake purchased at grocery stores and bakeries. JUST the icing. I could really care less about the cake part.  In my head I realize just how ridiculous this is. I could have easily bought a cake at the grocery store and been done with it. But, I didn't. Still, nothing I've eaten this weekend has been able to quell this odd desire for icing.

Inside my head is not always a good place to be. It's like taking trip to Tolkien's Middle Earth. The up side is that I realize it's temporary. The downside is you know your weekend sucked when you can't wait to wake up to a fresh new Monday.

Here's to beginning Anew...

Cheers!
Margaret

In the Dog House

Day 65

I think my Wii Boxing coach may break up with me if I don't get off my ass real quick. I've neglected my fitness for three days in a row. This is NOT a good precedent. I have lots of excuses, but no good reasons.

Excuses #1 and #2: I didn't fall asleep until after 1:00 am both nights and overslept. Then, I was too tired or not at home after work.

Excuse #3: I awoke with a raging sinus headache and cramps (sorry boys).

None of these are good reasons to skip a workout. I know better. But, I will not wallow in it. Setbacks happen. Sometimes we just don't feel like it and the devil on our shouder wins out. I accept and acknowledge my role in it.

Now, let's move on. Tomorrow is supposed to be sunny and 60. Perfect grilling weather and a great opportunity to get outside. Sounds like a fun day to me.

Cheers!
Margaret

Temptation

Day 64

temp·ta·tion
Something that tempts, entices, or allures.

Butter... Bacon... Pringles... Cake Icing...  Steak... These are a few of my favorite things. I find these foods extremely easy to over-consume, which is why I don't eat them very often.

Notice that I didn't say that I've banned these foods. If I told myself that these foods were off limits forever, it would just make me want them all the more. The small act of making a conscious decision to say I can have these foods sometimes makes it easier not to eat them regularly. I also believe that it's important to not let myself get too hungry because when you're ravenous, you are less likely to make healthy choices.

For instance, today there was an opportunity to eat cake at work. I had planned on a piece if I really wanted it. But, then when the time came, I wasn't hungry so I didn't eat it. Flash Forward to 8 pm. It had been 5 hours since I'd had anything to eat. I was planning for my dinner to be a free meal. And boy was it a FREEBIE. By the time we got to the restaurant, I was starving. Fried Pickles, Fried Fish, white beans, and a slice of Caramel pie later, I felt that I needed a wheel barrow to get me out of that place. I will say that I did not eat all of any one thing. And, the caramel pie was not worth the calories at all so I stopped eating it.

Despite the fact that I didn't eat all of  my food, I still ate enough of it to make me sick by the time I got home thus reminding myself once again that there is a reason I don't eat this stuff on a regular basis anymore.  All it did is make me feel bad am bout myself and force me to spend several excrutiating minutes in the "facilities". Logically, I know that I shouldn't feel bad about it. I planned for it. It's that lethargic overstuffed feeling that I hate. I'm still working toward stopping when I'm 70% full instead of when I'm stuffed. I guess it's a good thing that I approached stuffed way before I finished everything on my plate. Gluttony is not my friend.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Cheers!
Margaret

Self Image

Day 63

Yesterday I was feeling my inner rebel and went crazy at the hair salon. I came home with some highlights that I didn't go in there with. Now, if you know me, you know that I take tremendous pride in my hair. It's always been my thing. You can imagine my devastation when I started to get a few grays. Thankfully, I've got a stylist who covers them and allows me to keep my otherwise very dark brown locks.

Here's the thing. If I'm being honest, the reason that I've always taken so much pride in my hair is because it's one of the few things I thought I had going for me. I was so ashamed of my weight that I would take every opportunity to divert attention away from it that I could find. I suppose it's fair to say that I wasn't ashamed enough to do something about it.

Until...

It was December 26th. People talk about suddenly having moments of clarity. Even now it doesn't "feel" like it was a moment of clarity. When I look back, I remember it more as drawing a line in the sand and thinking to myself "that's it". Simple. Straightforward. I made a plan. I started this blog. I let go of my past. And, I never looked back.

62 days later, a healthier, more vibrant, and happier person sat down in the stylist chair and said "what do you think about highlights?" I don't know who was more shocked at the words coming out of my mouth... me or my stylist, who by the way has been doing my hair for over 10 years. A friend asked me why i did it and I said "why not, it's just hair?"

For the first time in 20 years, maybe ever, I feel good about the skin I'm in, the person I am and where I'm going. And, it shows.

Cheers!
Margaret

The Secret Sauce

Day 62

Self Pity
I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.

D.H. Lawrence

Master Chief John James Urgayle recites this poem in one of my all time favorite movies G.I. Jane. Whenever I'm faced with challenges I recall this poem. It speaks to me. It reminds me that feeling sorry for myself is not an option. Not that I'm feeling sorry for myself. That is absolutely not the case at all.

But, I find myself thinking about this poem tonight because I have a few friends who have recently embarked on their own personal weight loss journey. In the beginning (and points in between), it's easy to get discouraged. Despite my recent success, there have been weeks when seemingly nothing happened that caused me to doubt myself. I'm by no means an expert. I can only relay what I've learned so far.

My "Secrets" to Success

1. Set SMART goals. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time bound.
2. Don't give up. Change does happen if you keep working at it.
3. If you falter, and at some point you will, forgive yourself and move on.
4. Focus on progression not perfection. Ditch the "All" or "Nothing" mentality.
5. Make lifestyle changes that you can live with long term. Diets don't work.
6. Eat real food and lay off the refined sugar.
7. Get moving. But, start where you are. I could barely do 20 minutes in the beginning.
8. Allow yourself the occasional free meal or free day.
9. Take Before Pictures and Progress pictures at 4 week intervals.
10. The tape measure is your friend especially when the scale won't cooperate.

There are so many of us out there looking for the magic bullet... the secret sauce... the quick fix. The unfortunate truth is that there isn't one. Making peace with this fact is key. I'm not going to wake up next month and suddenly weigh 145. But, I will likely wake up next month weighing 225 and that will be less than I've weighed in five years. I will celebrate that milestone mightily.

Hang in there my compadres. Don't give up. If you need support. I'm right here.

Cheers!

Margaret

Proof Positive

Day 61

Ok.. ok.. I know I posted my 2 month progress pics last night. BUT, I just have to post these again alongside my previous pics mainly because I think I sometimes forget how far I've come in so little time. So what if I've only lost 12.5 as opposed to my goal of 16.5. In the scheme of things, it's four pounds. Who cares?

Take a look below... This gal is happy and it shows.

Check out that mid-section! AND.... Look at that chin area! I'm working my way toward one chin instead of three. Yay Me!

Check out the side-view. Disregard the bad hair and cheesy grin and direct your eyes a little further south. Hello Ladies. I can tell the difference between you and the spare tire! There might just be an hourglass figure in there yet.

Ok... I'll stop bragging and get back to workin on my fitness.

Cheers!

Margaret

I don't Need Your Stinkin Plateau!

Day 60

There's no other way to say this other than just blurt it out and be done with it.

So, here goes... I lost FOUR POUNDS!!!!

Plateau? What Plateau. I kicked that sucker to the curb. No longer do I look like this 247 lb before picture.

Today I'm a much trimmer 234.5 lbs. That's a little bit off my goal for this point in the journey. But, after three weeks of nothing but Heartbreak at the scale, I'll happily take it. This 12.5 lb loss also includes a 6% drop in body fat.

My beginning measurements:

Neck: 17"

Bust: 49"

Arms: 15"

Waist: 42.75

Hips: 53"

Thighs: 29"

Calves: 18"

Are also a thing of the past!

My new measurements are:

Neck: 16"

Bust: 46"

Arms: 14.5"

Waist: 41"

Hips: 49"

Thighs: 27"

Calves: 17"

Which represents a 12.25" loss

See those rolls of back fat? I hate them. This spare tire has been my nemesis for years. Yes, I said YEARS! In this picture, my exercise shirt kept riding up because it was a bit too tight.

Yep! They're almost gone too.
It Really doesn't get much better than this!

Cheers!

Margaret