Next Stop Transformation Station

Volume 2, Day 34

Ok.. So, I can type today. Interestingly enough it isn't my chest that's killing me, it's my biceps. They hurt even when they aren't flexed. I'm scared for what tomorrow might bring....

I was doing a little reading this afternoon and came across this paragraph which I believe to be so simple yet profound.

Read on...

"Whenever we try to change ourselves from the outside in, it never lasts. We lose weight only to gain it back. Or we might get motivated for a short period of time but it doesn’t last. We might temporarily change our habits and patterns through self-restraint, but individual willpower is simply not enough to keep us on the right path for any considerable length of time.

You see, as long as we’re still the same inside, at the level of our thoughts, beliefs, patterns, and emotions, we simply haven’t undergone true transformation." -- Excerpt from Transformation by Bill Phillips

This is so very true. How do I know? Because every change I've ever attempted to make about my weight has always been external and I've never been able to achieve lasting weight loss.

But, I can also say that inner transformation is also possible because I am definitely not the same person today that I was five years ago. I have evolved into a kinder, gentler version of myself. Still feisty and sometimes quick tempered. But, definitely no longer a "loose cannon".

As part of my continued "personal growth" I'm going to spend the next several weeks working from the inside out. It can't hurt right? And so it begins below...

Having looked inward to do some soul-searching, three heartfelt reasons for making the decision to transform my health and life are:
1. I have a tendency to want to take care of everyone else but me. I will drop everything to help a loved one. But, I will bail on myself first every time. It's time to give myself the gift of that same level of care.
2. I am so tired of my weight being the primary focus in my life. I genuinely want to change so that it isn't necessary for it to be my primary focus.
3. I have never addressed the emotional reasons behind my eating behaviors. I want to find healthier alternatives to manage my emotions. 


In recent days and weeks, the three most predominant inner feelings I have been experiencing are:
1. Enormous stress and anxiety about my career related decisions that had to be made.
2. Shame over gaining back nearly all of the weight I lost last year in less than 3 months.
3. Fear of Failure.


Three patterns of thinking or beliefs which may have limited my ability to change in the past are:
1. Losing weight is just too hard with my Thyroid Issues and other health issues.
2. I'm too old. I should just be happy the way I am.
3. I won't be able to eat like everyone else.


Looking forward, 18 weeks from now, three changes I will have made that show I’m more aligned with what’s important to me at a heart and soul level are:
1. I will be making my own health and well-being a priority, thus giving me energy to take care of the people I love the most as well.
2. Feeling good about myself and my progress will allow me to feel more joyful and be an active participant in my life.
3. I will have an outlet for relieving stress that doesn't involve food which will enable me to have a healthier relationship with food.

Looking forward, 18 weeks from now, the three most predominant inner feelings which describe what I’ll be experiencing are:
1. I will be more confident and secure about my overall health.
2. I will feel good about the changes I've made and remain inspired to continue my journey.
3. I will no longer be fearful of failure or success.


Three new patterns of thinking or beliefs which expand my ability to make healthy changes for the better will be:
1. The scale and my clothes with offer tangible proof that I really can make healthy changes.
2. I'll prove that age is just a number and it's never too late to take care of yourself.
3. I'll show that making time for exercising and choosing to eat right will allow me to have greater clarity, focus and energy to achieve whatever dream I dream.


Cheers!
Margaret