Dear Butter

I'm writing to tell you that I think we should just be friends. After years of co-dependency, I believe that I'm better off with Brummel & Brown.

Ours was a passionate affair. You made everything from popcorn to pop tarts taste better. I helped automate the Purity Dairy plant with my purchases and what did I get in return? In our time together I've watched my waistline spread and my chin go double.... ok maybe even triple if I laugh too hard. My Cholesterol numbers have soared right along with the scale.

Alas sweet butter, you are no good for me. Can we just be friends? I'm not cutting you completely out of my life lest you become a stalker and then I may have to go cold turkey. But, it's definitely time to set some boundaries. I'll set aside one day a week for visitation. But, I can really only take you in small doses like a "pat" here and there and not by the Tablespoon.

Please know that my potatoes will never be the same. Your decadent and tasty companionship has meant a lot to me. I wish I could say "it's not you, it's me". But, seriously, have you read your nutrition facts? It is you! You're no good for me. My heart literally can't take it anymore.

Be well my yummy friend and if you can find a way to taste wonderful without adding any saturated fat into my new lifestyle, give me a call. Otherwise, let's just be penpals.

Love,
Margaret