Day 209
I had a glorious weekend in the mountains. In fact, my 43rd birthday was "almost" as fun as my 40th birthday. There was a beautiful chalet, some adrenaline pumping white water, and a near heart stopping episode with some guard dogs that will have to be the subject of another post.
Coming back to reality has been a bit like the day after Christmas let down. My weekend was so good that it has only served to highlight just how much stress I'm under in the real world.
There are two things that let me know when stress is becoming a problem in my life (well three... ok four).
1. Insomnia
2. Emotional Eating
3. The Dreaded Eye Twitch
4. Tension in my neck and shoulders
I don't have insomnia. I have been guilty of some emotional eating; the eye twitch is definitely in full force today; and my neck is KILLING me. But, it's not all bad. Exercise has become a great source of relief for me. I am also fortunate because I have things to look forward to. That's the good stuff. It's important to have that in life. But, I need to get this stress thing in check before it really takes a toll on my health. The dreaded eye twitch is not a good sign at all.
Professionally, I'm in a bit of a rut. There's no immediate end in sight to my current work pressures. I just have to deal with them. But, in the meantime, I'm taking the bull by the horns. I acknowledge that there is only so much that I can do. I will take comfort in the knowledge that I'm doing the best I can and I will not put up with any crap.
On the personal front, I tend to keep a lot of things bottled up inside and frankly would prefer to hear about other people's problems than talk about my own. But, I do find it a bit disheartening when you always try to be there for others only to discover that they have no interest in you at all when they no longer need your help, your shoulder or your advice.
Ok... I'm through griping. I'm off to solve problems. Kick some ass and take some names.
Cheers!
Margaret
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say...
Day 202
You know how your mama always said "if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all?" Well... that's why I haven't posted in 6 days. It's hard to write a blog post when you feel like all you ever do is say the same stuff over and over... "today is the day I get back on track", "No more excuses," "I've been slacking" blah blah blah.
Here's another cliche: "Fake it til you make it." I've been faking for too long and it just felt a bit dishonest to write a positive blog post about losing weight when I wasn't feeling positive about it at all. On some level losing weight has come to define my life and that's not what I want. Don't get me wrong. I am committed to losing weight. But, I am not committed to the pursuit of it consuming my life 24/7. I've allowed myself to creep back into that all or nothing mentality that has sabatoged me so many times in the past. I refuse to let that continue.
So, back to why I haven't posted in a few days. I didn't want to post until I had some real news to report. And, I'm proud to say that I'm back in the gym and working out consistently. I feel so much better and I'm having such a good time with it. Even my husband is in on the game, working out with our friend Larry. They go to the swanky Maryland Farms YMCA in Brentwood after work while I'm relegated to the Peasant YMCA in Hendersonville. I took a trip to Ritzyville last night. I was floored to see that the Maryland Farms YMCA has a Subway Restaurant in it! I'm not even kidding.... A SUBWAY! (Rich people get all the cool stuff) They provide towels too, which is awesome. I might have to move south just so I can enjoy the finery this Y has to offer. :)
On the nutrition front...
Admittedly, I've added some of the processed foods back into my life. I'm struggling with this. One thing at a time. Clean eating is NOT for sissies. I try to eat mostly real food. As long as I'm keeping my daily intake balanced, I'm not going to sweat it too much. I think the exercise is more important for me than the food right now. I've got it under control.
We're making some real progress here. I like it!
Cheers!
Margaret
You know how your mama always said "if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all?" Well... that's why I haven't posted in 6 days. It's hard to write a blog post when you feel like all you ever do is say the same stuff over and over... "today is the day I get back on track", "No more excuses," "I've been slacking" blah blah blah.
Here's another cliche: "Fake it til you make it." I've been faking for too long and it just felt a bit dishonest to write a positive blog post about losing weight when I wasn't feeling positive about it at all. On some level losing weight has come to define my life and that's not what I want. Don't get me wrong. I am committed to losing weight. But, I am not committed to the pursuit of it consuming my life 24/7. I've allowed myself to creep back into that all or nothing mentality that has sabatoged me so many times in the past. I refuse to let that continue.
So, back to why I haven't posted in a few days. I didn't want to post until I had some real news to report. And, I'm proud to say that I'm back in the gym and working out consistently. I feel so much better and I'm having such a good time with it. Even my husband is in on the game, working out with our friend Larry. They go to the swanky Maryland Farms YMCA in Brentwood after work while I'm relegated to the Peasant YMCA in Hendersonville. I took a trip to Ritzyville last night. I was floored to see that the Maryland Farms YMCA has a Subway Restaurant in it! I'm not even kidding.... A SUBWAY! (Rich people get all the cool stuff) They provide towels too, which is awesome. I might have to move south just so I can enjoy the finery this Y has to offer. :)
On the nutrition front...
Admittedly, I've added some of the processed foods back into my life. I'm struggling with this. One thing at a time. Clean eating is NOT for sissies. I try to eat mostly real food. As long as I'm keeping my daily intake balanced, I'm not going to sweat it too much. I think the exercise is more important for me than the food right now. I've got it under control.
We're making some real progress here. I like it!
Cheers!
Margaret
Thursday, July 15, 2010
25 Years and My life is still....
Day 196
This weekend I will attend my 25 year class reunion. When did I get so freakin old? My dad's 20 year class reunion was right before I left for my freshman year in college. At that time, 20 years seemed like a lifetime. And, for me it was since I was only 17. But, 25 years? That was just crazy talk. :)
I'm reminded of the Four Non Blondes song "What's Up" (I actually thought it was called What's going on. But, me being the researcher, I had to look it up first.)
25 years and my life is still
trying to get up that great big hill of hope
for a destinationYou get the gist.
I realized quickly when I knew I should
that the world was made up of this brotherhood of man
for whatever that means
chorus:
'n so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed
just to get it all out what's in my head
'n I, I'm feeling a little peculiar
'n so I wake in the morning and I step outside
'n I take a deep breath
'n I get real high
'n I scream from the top of my lungs
what's goin' on
Here I am 25 years later. I've been married for nearly 19 of those years and now high school seems like it was a lifetime ago. Thank God. High school was pretty hard for me. I think there are two kinds of high school graduates... those who thought those were the BEST days ever and those who couldn't WAIT to get OUT. I am of the latter.
So much has changed in 25 years. I've made a life for myself that I'm proud of. It is remarkable to me because I have beaten the odds. I didn't turn out like anyone thought I would. The truth is only a handful of people every truly believed in me. My grandmother Margaret; my neighbors Tootsie and Dickey (who practically raised me); my friends Lori and Tom; and most importantly the man who became my husband. Let's face it, most people didn't hold out much hope for the poor kid from east Nashville.
But, those are just the kind of odds I like. Tell me I can't and I'll go out of my way to prove you wrong. I graduated from college. Who cares if it took me 23 years to make that dream a reality. I've helped run a business. I've changed careers. I've amassed a fantastic ragtag family of misfits that are not all blood kin to me, but could not mean more to me if they were. I have known success and failure... love and loss.
25 years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope...
I have only just begun. Like I said, when did I get so freakin old? Guess what? I'm not old. I'm seasoned. I've been around long enough to know what's important. But, I haven't been around so long that I've forgotten how to enjoy what life has to offer. I've spent 25 years letting go of baggage that has no place in my heart and I'm better for it. And, God willing, I'll spend the next 25 years doing what I love the most... living life, having fun and getting ... (I'll let you fill in the blank on that one).
____________________________________
My triumphant return to the Y was thwarted yesterday and today by some allergy sinus funk. Tonight, I do feel better and I won't be thwarted for a third day. I've planned tomorrow's workout and my clothes are ready to go.
Cheers!
Margaret
This weekend I will attend my 25 year class reunion. When did I get so freakin old? My dad's 20 year class reunion was right before I left for my freshman year in college. At that time, 20 years seemed like a lifetime. And, for me it was since I was only 17. But, 25 years? That was just crazy talk. :)
I'm reminded of the Four Non Blondes song "What's Up" (I actually thought it was called What's going on. But, me being the researcher, I had to look it up first.)
25 years and my life is still
trying to get up that great big hill of hope
for a destinationYou get the gist.
I realized quickly when I knew I should
that the world was made up of this brotherhood of man
for whatever that means
chorus:
'n so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed
just to get it all out what's in my head
'n I, I'm feeling a little peculiar
'n so I wake in the morning and I step outside
'n I take a deep breath
'n I get real high
'n I scream from the top of my lungs
what's goin' on
Here I am 25 years later. I've been married for nearly 19 of those years and now high school seems like it was a lifetime ago. Thank God. High school was pretty hard for me. I think there are two kinds of high school graduates... those who thought those were the BEST days ever and those who couldn't WAIT to get OUT. I am of the latter.
So much has changed in 25 years. I've made a life for myself that I'm proud of. It is remarkable to me because I have beaten the odds. I didn't turn out like anyone thought I would. The truth is only a handful of people every truly believed in me. My grandmother Margaret; my neighbors Tootsie and Dickey (who practically raised me); my friends Lori and Tom; and most importantly the man who became my husband. Let's face it, most people didn't hold out much hope for the poor kid from east Nashville.
But, those are just the kind of odds I like. Tell me I can't and I'll go out of my way to prove you wrong. I graduated from college. Who cares if it took me 23 years to make that dream a reality. I've helped run a business. I've changed careers. I've amassed a fantastic ragtag family of misfits that are not all blood kin to me, but could not mean more to me if they were. I have known success and failure... love and loss.
25 years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope...
I have only just begun. Like I said, when did I get so freakin old? Guess what? I'm not old. I'm seasoned. I've been around long enough to know what's important. But, I haven't been around so long that I've forgotten how to enjoy what life has to offer. I've spent 25 years letting go of baggage that has no place in my heart and I'm better for it. And, God willing, I'll spend the next 25 years doing what I love the most... living life, having fun and getting ... (I'll let you fill in the blank on that one).
____________________________________
My triumphant return to the Y was thwarted yesterday and today by some allergy sinus funk. Tonight, I do feel better and I won't be thwarted for a third day. I've planned tomorrow's workout and my clothes are ready to go.
Cheers!
Margaret
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Potential
Day 194
Which is more important -- Putting in the work to reach your full potential OR Being satisfied with just good enough?
Seems like a no brainer right? I don't know anyone who wouldn't say do the work. But, doing the work is a lot harder than it sounds. I'm deeply committed to reaching my full potential. Lately, I've been settling for just good enough.
I've been having a hard time with my motivation to exercise. I finally bit the bullet and re-joined the YMCA. Two days in and I already feel so much better. We had a number of discussions at home about how we were members of the Y before and didn't use it. I'll be honest. The last year of our membership, I didn't want to go because I was embarrassed to be there. My fitness level had deteriorated so much that I just avoided it at all costs.
When I started this journey I wanted to prove that you could lose weight while working out at home and not spend a ton of money. You can. I've proved that. I discovered that I missed using real gym equipment like my beloved elliptical. I missed being able to use weight machines for my leg workout.
Last night when I entered those hallowed halls, I was so excited that I went full steam ahead on my lower body workout. It was awesome... right up until I woke up this morning. My legs were screaming obscenities at me that you would not believe. My abs were on strike. And, my calves were plotting revenge.
I'm happy to report that I rallied and hit the gym tonight for some good ole cardio. I was a little off my pace. But, not by much. I have no doubt that I'll be right back where I need to be in short order.
I will reach my full potential. I will do the work. I will be patient and I will succeed.
Cheers!
Margaret
Which is more important -- Putting in the work to reach your full potential OR Being satisfied with just good enough?
Seems like a no brainer right? I don't know anyone who wouldn't say do the work. But, doing the work is a lot harder than it sounds. I'm deeply committed to reaching my full potential. Lately, I've been settling for just good enough.
I've been having a hard time with my motivation to exercise. I finally bit the bullet and re-joined the YMCA. Two days in and I already feel so much better. We had a number of discussions at home about how we were members of the Y before and didn't use it. I'll be honest. The last year of our membership, I didn't want to go because I was embarrassed to be there. My fitness level had deteriorated so much that I just avoided it at all costs.
When I started this journey I wanted to prove that you could lose weight while working out at home and not spend a ton of money. You can. I've proved that. I discovered that I missed using real gym equipment like my beloved elliptical. I missed being able to use weight machines for my leg workout.
Last night when I entered those hallowed halls, I was so excited that I went full steam ahead on my lower body workout. It was awesome... right up until I woke up this morning. My legs were screaming obscenities at me that you would not believe. My abs were on strike. And, my calves were plotting revenge.
I'm happy to report that I rallied and hit the gym tonight for some good ole cardio. I was a little off my pace. But, not by much. I have no doubt that I'll be right back where I need to be in short order.
I will reach my full potential. I will do the work. I will be patient and I will succeed.
Cheers!
Margaret
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Strength
Day 188
Strength \ˈstreŋ(k)th, ˈstren(t)th\
Function: noun
1. The quality or state of being strong : capacity for exertion or endurance : vigor
2 Power to resist force : solidity, toughness
3 Power of resisting attack : impregnability
I have a strong mind, a strong will, and a strong heart. I pray for the strength to endure and overcome whatever challenges life places before me. I crave the strength and vigor to enjoy my life take on any physical task of my choosing.
In order to achieve these goals, I must exercise my brain, my heart and my body. My goals for these next few days are to get good quality intense exercise and fill my body with quality foods. It's easy after being out of town for a few days to get into the habit of going for the "easy" way out in terms of eating out and not planning meals.
The natural tendency is to say "I'm going to get back to it on Monday." Why not get back to it right now? Sure, I've been pretty exhausted and sore these past couple of days. But, let's not get crazy and let it turn into a week of laziness.
Just Say No to being a Couch Potato!
Cheers!
Margaret
Strength \ˈstreŋ(k)th, ˈstren(t)th\
Function: noun
1. The quality or state of being strong : capacity for exertion or endurance : vigor
2 Power to resist force : solidity, toughness
3 Power of resisting attack : impregnability
I have a strong mind, a strong will, and a strong heart. I pray for the strength to endure and overcome whatever challenges life places before me. I crave the strength and vigor to enjoy my life take on any physical task of my choosing.
In order to achieve these goals, I must exercise my brain, my heart and my body. My goals for these next few days are to get good quality intense exercise and fill my body with quality foods. It's easy after being out of town for a few days to get into the habit of going for the "easy" way out in terms of eating out and not planning meals.
The natural tendency is to say "I'm going to get back to it on Monday." Why not get back to it right now? Sure, I've been pretty exhausted and sore these past couple of days. But, let's not get crazy and let it turn into a week of laziness.
Just Say No to being a Couch Potato!
Cheers!
Margaret
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Livin La Vida Loca
Day 187
I cannot believe it's been seven days since my last post. I'm happy to report that I'm still here and happier and healthier than ever.
We just got back from a whirlwind trip to Daytona beach where we crammed at least two weeks worth of fun into three days. We were definitly "Living La Vida Loca" this weekend. It had a few tense moments. But, all in all, it was just the break I needed. Today, I find myself extremely grateful for the blessings in my life despite being back to reality. My workday came complete with my very own work crisis which I will be able to fix because I'm just awesome like that. :0)
I feel as if I had plenty of exercise this weekend with the dancing and the swimming and the walking. My calves definitely know I walked a lot. My back knows I slept on a crappy mattress and spent about 22 hours in the car for the ride down and back. But, my brain is clearer, my heart is lighter and my smile is brighter. That's what a vacation is all about.
Taking the day off today to recoup. Tomorrow, it's back to the gym!
Cheers!
Margaret
I cannot believe it's been seven days since my last post. I'm happy to report that I'm still here and happier and healthier than ever.
We just got back from a whirlwind trip to Daytona beach where we crammed at least two weeks worth of fun into three days. We were definitly "Living La Vida Loca" this weekend. It had a few tense moments. But, all in all, it was just the break I needed. Today, I find myself extremely grateful for the blessings in my life despite being back to reality. My workday came complete with my very own work crisis which I will be able to fix because I'm just awesome like that. :0)
I feel as if I had plenty of exercise this weekend with the dancing and the swimming and the walking. My calves definitely know I walked a lot. My back knows I slept on a crappy mattress and spent about 22 hours in the car for the ride down and back. But, my brain is clearer, my heart is lighter and my smile is brighter. That's what a vacation is all about.
Taking the day off today to recoup. Tomorrow, it's back to the gym!
Cheers!
Margaret
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