Dressing Room Full of Tears

Day 72

It is a well known fact that it's no fun shopping with me. I cannot wait for the day when I can walk into any store I want knowing that they'll have my size. It's hard as hell to fine stylish plus size clothes that one can afford. But, that's not really the point of this story.

I am in need of a pair of jeans. I have three pair. One for heels, one for knocking around and a pair of trouser jeans. I'm going camping next weekend and to the races and I need more than one pair of jeans that I can wear with sneakers. So, I told my husband that "he" needed jeans and we went to Kohl's. I knew if I told him that "I" needed jeans, he'd run for the hills. He hates shopping with me because he says that I "try on everything and buy nothing."

I leave him in the men's department and head over to the Old Lady... I mean plus size section. I had read about the Lee jeans with tummy control and wanted to try those out. As is usually the case, the selection and sizes were limited. I looked at the size 20W and thought to myself that they looked kinda big. I wondered if I could squeeze into an 18W. Or course there was no 18W. But, there was a 16W. I thought to myself "yeah right." But, I took them anyway. I wanted to see how close I was to fitting in the coveted size 16W that I could wear... oh let's say 3-5 years ago.

Bracing myself, I put on the size 20s. They almost fell straight to the floor. WHAT? This can't be right. Perhaps it's a 22W on a 20W hanger. Nope! I smiled. Still, there's no freaking way I'm going to get these size 16s. I was betting they'd barely go over my enormous hips.

One leg in, I closed my eyes and held my breath. Then, the other leg.
Ok, let's pull these puppies up and see just how much belly is in the way of the zipper.
They are over my hips. Wait a minute... I think these might actually button... Holy Crap the zipper is going up too. Seriously! Am I being punk'd? If so, it's so NOT cool.

Slowly, my brain is starting to catch up and realize what's going on here. Hello? Anybody home in there? MARGARET!!! You are wearing a pair of size 16W jeans and they fit. Not only do they fit, but they look pretty good to boot. Standing in front of the mirror, it finally hits me. I am about to purchase a pair of jeans that is not only one but TWO sizes smaller than what I normally wear. I look up and realize that I'm crying. Not the sad defeated tears of someone who just keeps getting fatter and fatter year after year. But, tears of triumph and joy from someone who's literally been working her ass off for 72 days.

I walked up to my husband crying and smiling all at the same time. I'm sure there are plenty of women out there who are disgusted to be wearing a 16. But, when you've been wearing size 20 for two years and find yourself getting dangerously close to a 22.... well a 16 is quite simply bliss.

And worth every tear.

Cheers!
Margaret