Disgusted

Day 228

I just can't seem to get my head out of my _ _ _ (fill in the blank with the appropriate three letter word). I seem to have fallen of the nutrition wagon and I don't mean a little stumble either. I mean... I fell off a cliff, slammed on every single pointy rock on the way down before landing in a ravine. I'm in need of a first responder... an EMT... A paramedic... a Snake Oil Salesman... Or, at the very least a hyptnotist.

Seriously, WTF? What is it about human nature that causes us to walk away when things get tough? This is really what it's all about. Logically, I know it. My weight loss stalled. I wasn't seeing the results I felt I should be seeing given the level of effort so I mentally gave up.

It's hard for me to type this too. You have no idea how hard it is. My tendency is to run and hide when stuff like this happens. It's pretty much a safe bet that when I disappear, something is wrong. I don't like admitting problems. And, I certainly don't like facing them. I'm a classic avoider and a notorious procrastinator.  It's easier to say "I don't have time to blog." But, in the interest of keeping it real, I'll be honest. I skip because I don't want to admit failure. If I write, I have to be accountable. And, if I have to admit a mistake, I'd just as soon ignore it all together.

I actually had little thoughts swimming in my head about shutting this blog down. (don't worry. I"m not gonna. that's the ultimate failure. I can't do that.) I've even entertained a couple of crash diets. Have you heard about the HCG diet? You take these hormone drops and then essentially eat like a rabbit for three weeks. Then, I considered giving up all carbs for a month. (Really?) I'm sure it works in the short term. But, let's face it, I've got a long term issue. A crash diet is not going to solve my problems. Those solutions are only designed to help me NOT face the fact that I've been slacking for a while now.

Weight Loss is like anything if you want to reap the rewards, you have to do the work. There are no short cuts. No matter how much I wish there were.

So, I'll admit it. I'm disgusted and I'm at an impasse. All I can say is Thank God my weight loss has just stalled. I don't think I could handle it if I'd gained the weight back.

Failure is not an option. I can do this. NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES.

Now that I've got the negative stuff out of the way, let's talk positives. Yesterday's leg workout was awesome. I'm really starting to get stronger. Today is cardio. I'm not looking forward to it. But, we leave for Bristol tomorrow and I can't afford to skip any workouts.

FYI - Blogging from the race will be a challenge. But, at least my nifty new Droid Incredible gives me access. They keyboard makes a long post nearly impossible. But, I can definitely deliver one or two lines. I commit to daily blogging no matter what I have to share.

Cheers!
Margaret

Beginning Weight: 259
Current Weight: 232
* You will start seeing this at the bottom of all my posts. Keeping it real. No more hiding from the truth.