Eureka Moment

Day 239


I've been going about this all wrong. Well, not "all" wrong. But, I've had a eureka moment that I simply must share. A friend of mine "T" sent me a link to a new blog a few weeks ago. It's called Losing Weight Every Day. It's the daily diary of a winning loser. This guy lost 200 lbs in one year. Back up and read that again... I'll wait.

Ok... now that this information has had a moment to sink in... He is roughly 16 pounds from his goal of losing 275 pounds. It's quite remarkable really. But, it's these words that I found profound.

"I needed to confront my behaviors with food in everyday situations, and it had to be head on with real food like everybody else eats. I then determined that nothing was off limits. I could eat anything I wanted, and I mean anything! That element of my journey has been one of the keys to success, because if nothing is off limits, then I'll never feel deprived...and I'll never feel defeated because I enjoyed something that conventional weight loss wisdom says you can't have if you want to lose weight."

I also believe this journey is 20% what you eat and how often you move and 80% MENTAL. Sometimes I really feel that I am battling an addiction. It's not like smoking or drinking. I can't just "quit" eating. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to minimize the severity of Alcoholism or Smoking. I grew up with an addict and I know first hand just how destructive those addictions can be. But, food addictions are just as real... just as destructive...

It's not the regular behaviors that keep me fat. It's the irregular behaviors that I rarely, if ever, talk about that keep me fat. What you "see" me eat is not the issue. It's what you don't "see" me eat that haunts me. It's a lot more under control today than it was months ago. But, I still battle and fight the urge to raid my kitchen and eat everything in sight when I'm by myself. Sometimes I wish I had a shock collar that would zap me back into reality when I go down this path. While I might feel good about it in the "moment", that moment invariably passes and I'm left feeling defeated and ashamed.

On my way to work this morning I wondered to myself... "What happened to the fire in my belly? Why is this so hard today, when it was so easy in the beginning?" Nothing has really changed except my perception. It's a lack of confidence that is weighing me down along with a good dose of denial. While I appreciate the comments about muscle weighing more than fat, the truth is I have not been doing the work. I've been eating like the old Margaret and wondering "why" the scale isn't moving down. The only reason I haven't gained weight is because I'm exercising.

This is WHY I haven't lost any weight. Yesterday I ate:
Breakfast: Myoplex Shake
Lunch: Little Bacon Cheeseburger and Seasoned Fries from Five Guys Burgers and Fries
Snack 1: Ice Cream Sandwich
Snack 2: Snickers (stressed b/c I can't find a temporary marketing assistant to help while regular person is on Maternity leave)
Dinner: 6" Tuna on wheat and bag of Cool Ranch Doritos
Snack 3: Slim-a-bear Ice cream (Ate it because I "have" to have "dessert" which is BS!)
Snack 4: Single Serve popcorn with 2 tbls butter. (Wasn't even hungry. Just ate for the sake of eating it)

2707 Calories; 49% Fat; 38% Carbs; 13% protein.
Unacceptable.

I could have easily reigned this in to the following:
Breakfast: Myoplex Shake
Lunch: Little Hamburger and Seasoned Fries
Snack: Fruit and String Cheese
Dinner: Roast Beef on Wheat and a Bag of Baked Lays
Snack: Slim-A-Bear Ice Cream

1668 calories; 31% Fat; 48% Carbs and 21% Protein.
Not perfect. But, WAY healthier.

Typically, a balanced diet should work out to 40% Protein; 30% Carbs; 30% fat.

Today is going much better so far. I'll let you know how it works out. But, I have to say that knowing I'll have to put it down here will make it a lot easier to be reasonable. Looking back and what I ate yesterday is Eye Opening or shall I say... it's a EUREKA moment! :)

Cheers!
Margaret