Failing in Public

Day 63,

Failing in public hurts. It doesn't matter if you lose a race, trip over a shoelace or pledge to lose a hundred pounds in a year and then don't. As much as we love a good success story, we like to see people fail even more.

Think about it. How many success stories did you see in the news this week?
Remember any of them? No?

I bet significant number of us has been wired in to see Charlie Sheen publicly unraveling this week. (me included). Ever wonder what is going on inside the brain of the person who's just failed publicly? Do you think Britney Spears woke up the day after she shaved her head and said "Hell Yeah! That was awesome!" Do you think Ryan Benson (the guy that won the biggest loser only to gain the weight back) wants to even walk outside his door? Do you think that your friend who quit smoking only to sneak a few drags after a stressful day wants to admit it?

Failing is hard enough in silence. But, when you do it in front of other people it's excruciating. It doesn't make me feel good at all to sit here and blog about how much weight I haven't lost. It doesn't blow wind up my skirt to make and break promises to myself over and over. I don't even want to announce a goal anymore because I feel like people are sitting there thinking "yeah right! Sure you will." Truthfully, I say those same things to myself and I need to stop. But, that's another blog post.

And God help me if I go out there and say something radical like I'm giving up High Fructose Corn Syrup for lent. That little jewel gave my husband a big laugh. He encouraged me to set might sights a little lower and give up Diet Coke. Now, before you guys go all "what was he thinking when he said that.", I know that he didn't mean to hurt my feelings. The reality is that there is some truth in his statement. I don't blame him for thinking I can't do it. He has the data to back up the odds that I won't.

But, I want to try. And, that is the key.

Sure, there's the voice inside my head that says he's right, "I can't do it." But, then there's that stubborn mule inside that wants to prove him wrong. Then, there's the little girl who will be ashamed and won't want to leave the house for weeks if I can't do it. It sounds ridiculous. But, many of you know what I mean.

So, here I am.... again... pledging to do the right thing. I just hope I don't pull a Robert Downey Jr. and wind up in a neighbors bed mainlining Pringles, Oreos and Ice Cream.

I'm weaning myself over the weekend. Beginning Ash Wednesday (this wednesday) I'm giving up the junk for 40 days. No chips, no cookies, no cakes. Sugar be gone. You have my word that I'll keep the Diet Cokes to 1 or less per day. That's all I can manage at this time.

Cheers!
Margaret