Baggage

Day 49

"Every time I try to get out, they keep pullin' me back in!" - The Godfather

I swear I feel like my past mindset came and gave me a big ole bitch slap right in the face today.... In the FACE!! I really try to avoid negative situations whenever possible. Unfortunately, I couldn't run away today and I had to face the issues coming at me head on. There were a lot. I took them all in stride and maintained my composure through it all. But, I had an overwhelming urge to stuff my feelings with food.

All I can say is thank goodness there were no cinnamon buns to tempt me in the breakroom today. I might have inhaled them. Instead, I took my friend Jon's advice. (Deep Breaths and fight the urge!) He would be proud. I didn't succumb to my urges. I ate an apple and a piece of string cheese, which was my planned afternoon snack. It's hard to convey just how hard it was to avoid my old "safety net".

I couldn't really do anything about the challenges coming my way today. In the end, they all turned out ok. And, frankly, the outcome would have been the same whether I stuffed my feelings with food or not. Huge accomplishment. I'm ashamed that those feelings still hold some power over me. But, I'm proud that I've got the upper hand. I'm stronger than those feelings. Eventually, they will know better than to mess with me. Until then, I will continue to fight.

Another positive note for today is that I managed to get up again this morning to workout. That's three days in a row for those of you paying attention. Tomorrow, I go for number FOUR. Tomorrow night, I'm rewarding this week's successes with a 1.5 hour massage. I've earned it. And, I cannot wait.

Cheers!
Margaret